When I Heard a Voice in my Head (+ scroll down for your free hypnosis recording)

Photo Credit Amber Gress

Photo Credit Amber Gress

The voice in my head was really, really loud. “You have to quit your job.”

I had thought it before. But this time was different. I was just sitting on the side of my bed, putting my shoes on, thinking about whatever. And a commandment galloped out of the ether and hit me like a stampede of elephants.

Honestly, it was weird.

I didn’t normally hear voices in my head. When it happened, it seemed so strange. It was a voice. And I knew it was important. 

I considered the message. Did I have to quit my job? At the time I was bartending at a restaurant. I had been working for the company for the better part of 10 years. Every other thing in my life had somersaulted 99 times, but this one part of my identity was constant.

Had I outgrown it?

Yes.

Was it making me irritable, anxious, and angry?

Sometimes.

But there were things I loved about it too. I’m an extrovert, so it fed that part of my personality. My mindset planet Mercury is in a fixed sign, so I like to think that I know what I’m doing, where I’m going, what the game plan is. I liked the stable income. I liked the illusion of security. 

I always had a reason for why it was too soon to quit.

In fact, change seemed impossible.

But yet, there was this voice in my head. And it was freaking me out. 

It’s important for me to add here that I trusted this voice. I knew that this voice was speaking in my highest and best interest. I can’t say for sure how I knew that, but I did. The voice was my intuition, higher self, higher wisdom, inner guidance, inner healer… whatever you like to call it.

Along with the voice, there was a new responsibility. Because I was getting clearcut information, I knew that I needed to make a decision. I needed to decide: Was I going to stay in the status quo, dividing my time between the work that brought me value (astrology), and the work that brought me constancy and the illusion of security (bartending)?

Or was I going to cut the cord, with no savings, and just go for it?

The second option did not seem advisable. But in the wisdom of the voice, another idea was becoming very clear. If I carried on this way, something was going to break. And it would be me. 

Protecting myself from change and growth would break me. It was a non-option. I had to leap and the time was now. 

So I did. I started to make the transition out. It was a full year before I had completely eased out of food service. And letting go scared me, frustrated me, and challenged me. But most importantly it opened me up to a new way of seeing myself. It helped me shift to a new level of development.

“There is nothing so stable as change.” -Bob Dylan

Change has happened in my life in different ways. There have been the changes that I’ve chosen, and there have been the changes that have happened to me. The first category has been emotionally lighter. But no matter which version it is, change has often seemed worth resisting.

Because when you change, you have to let go of the old way. And when you let go, you have to go through some kind of grief process. (Remember grief? Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Grief, Acceptance? Yup. Super fun.)

And then there’s that old friend called insecurity. The idea that the old thing is stable, even though it may not work anymore. But the new thing is not provable yet. So it is not secure. And insecurity is dangerous.

Come to think of it, change is pretty scary. The subconscious mind doesn’t love it. The subconscious mind’s big job is to keep us safe. Known = safe. Unknown = dangerous. 

It’s no surprise that the number one reason people come in for an astrology session is that they are going through some kind of change. And they are seeking understanding and confirmation.

And the number one people come in for hypnosis is to have guidance and assistance in making foundational changes. Basically- getting the subconscious mind to work for the change instead of against it. 

Astrology and hypnosis are my favorite modalities for assistance in the change department. Astrology to help understand WTF is going on, and hypnosis to help make change happen. 

We know that change is inevitable. But that doesn’t keep us from avoiding it. Because change is an unknown quantity, and our subconscious mind's # 1 job is to keep us safe, change can feel scary, or wrong. But we do have to push ourselves toward it in order to grow. We have to create an elastic and welcoming relationship with change. Because when we do that, we open up to knowing ourselves better. We move away from living in response to fear, and we move toward self-actualization. 

Do you need to hear a voice in your head in order to make a change? Hell no.

So what can you do when you are sensing change coming on, but you aren't sure when, how, why, what or who?

Practice hypnosis to get closer to your inner wisdom (I've got a free recording for you below!) Meditate to get better at bearing witness to your thoughts. Meditate to develop trust in the Universe. Let go of control. Be willing to change. Tell yourself, "I am willing to change," even if you don’t know when that change will happen, what it will look like, or who you will become. Just be willing.

That will help you open up to know what you need to do, in the perfect time. 

I’ve created a short hypnosis recording to help you encounter your inner guidance. Use it for clarity. Make it a practice. Try it a couple times to familiarize yourself with the process and see how your experience changes. 

Get close to that voice in your head over here. >>>

Horoscopes for April 24-30

Horoscopes for April 24-30

Taurus :: Taurus Rising
Gentle clouds at the peak of a mountain. There is a sense of dreamy focus to this symbol. In the same way, find focus within yourself— focus on your goals, identity, career. But let your attention be light. Let it be easy. Let it be spacious. Don’t stress or strain. Just ask for gentle alignment right now. Use your imagination to visualize yourself at the peak of the mountain— at the moment of completing your goal. Feel the joyous feelings that accompany your success.

Gemini :: Gemini Rising
Walking through strawberry fields. “Strawberry Fields Forever.” That song includes symbolism about escaping reality. This is where your astrology this week leads you as well. It’s a dreamy kind of escape. The kind that takes you on a journey into the depths of your own subconscious mind. Trading out the conscious for the subconscious. You may be working with your deep beliefs, dreams and feelings in new ways. Or you may simply be drifting and floating a little more than usual. Let yourself be a little gauzy, but take opportunities to work on deeper levels if you can. Gain access to your subconscious through hypnosis, shamanic practice, dream journalling, meditation, etc. Take a walk through strawberry fields.

Cancer :: Cancer Rising
Guppies swimming in shallow waters. Community is something you need to feel that you can count on right now. Gain a deep feeling of connection. Belonging. This is something that will support you in creating a new level of abundance in your life. You need to find your people. Your friends, your neighborhood, your online community. Find and feel that sense of support. Let it be your bedrock. It will help you feel enveloped by love. And that will enhance your growth.

Leo :: Leo Rising
Three scoops of ice cream balanced carefully on a cone. You need sweetness and lots of it. You need to be able to feel that it’s piled high. What is sweetness to you? It it support? Connection? Success? Creativity? Recognition? It might change all the time, but the important thing is to define what it is to you now. What would hit the spot? Now, in the symbol, the ice cream is carefully balanced. This means that you need to create the structure necessary to receive this sweetness. You need to be able to feel aligned in your life, so that the sweetness just flows in. So that it’s expected. Take simple actions that would help you have space for this sweetest that you want to appear in your life.

Virgo :: Virgo Rising
Hunting in the forest with a bow and arrow. It’s time to go after a new opinion. You have to learn some new truth and have a moment of epiphany. This symbol is about a hunter. What does that mean to you? Do you see yourself as hunting anything in your life? Is it a deserving purpose? Is it a conscious hunt? Is it what you really want? Does that pursuit help you feel directed or does it make you feel frustrated? There is no right or wrong answer here, I ask because it’s a good time to have a clear philosophy for how you want to use your energy. How are you directing, motivating, chasing, hunting, or going after your goals?

Libra :: Libra Rising
Making hand-prints in wet sand. Allow for the transitional nature of things. Allow that the waves will come and wash everything away. You are working with pliable materials and it may be time to let go. Something is ready to be let go of. What is it? When you’ve identified it, begin to allow the process. Use a mirror to tell yourself that you are ready— tell yourself while looking into your own eyes. Use ritual to add symbolism to the process by writing down the thing you are ready to let go of and burning the paper. Release is necessary and it can be emotional. Welcome the emotion with the knowing that you are strong enough for the process. You are ready.

Scorpio :: Scorpio Rising
Crossing a glass bridge. It’s time for more transparency in your life. Especially in your relationships. In this symbol you are crossing (from your experience to someone else’s experience). And the bridge is transparency. The bridge you are building in a relationship is transparent— hiding nothing. You are open. What surprises will be revealed when you are brave enough to cross that clear bridge? When you are brave enough to make yourself vulnerable and say what is truly in your heart? The neat thing about this symbol is that you are completely supported on your journey. You are safe to be transparent.

Sagittarius :: Sagittarius Rising
A bear sleeping in a cave. It’s time for some self-care. The bear has a pretty efficient structure for self-care. It’s highly advanced. The system is perfectly adapted to the bear’s environment. In preparation for the winter, the bear eats. When the weather is too cold, the bear sleeps. For a really long time. The bear has adapted pretty well. What are your structures and systems? Are they connected to the external cycles that affect you? Are you ready to fine tune them so that they are working for you? Now is the time.

Capricorn :: Capricorn Rising
Small boats with colorful sails. Movement and joy. Call it in. If not now, when? So much depends on the approach that you choose. Choose to sail. Choose to ease joyfully through. No friction. Where have you been throwing road blocks on your own path? Well, the good news is, you are on the water now and those road blocks sank. You are ready for speed. All you need to fuel yourself is a big burst of creativity and a little recognition. Express yourself joyfully. Don’t stop yourself because you have a habit of overworking. Fill your sails with fun.

Aquarius :: Aquarius Rising
Licking peanut butter off a spoon. Food symbols are often about nurturance. Where do you need to be a little bit softer? How can you receive a little bit more? Cradle yourself. Be kind. Really— speak kind words to yourself. Surprise yourself with how much love you can show. Your self-love will give you deep emotional security. It will strengthen you. It’s a foundation that you can build upon.

Pisces :: Pisces Rising
A hamster chews his food. These tiny mammals save their extra food in their cheeks. Have you been preparing for the future as well? The symbol of the hamster and this week’s astrology show that your preparation needs to come from your ability to learn. You need to supply yourself with beliefs, knowledge and ideas that will bring you strength. So that you can grow in the exact way that you desire. Focus on your mindset this week and discover what you need to learn.

Aries :: Aries Rising
Playing ping-pong. If you have been feeling any defensiveness, it’s safe to let that feeling dissolve now. It’s possible that there is a part of you reacting to something from the past. Your true security won’t come from habitual defensiveness. Your security will come from a sense of inner peace. An inner serenity that is like a still lake. Now the question is, how to connect with that inner peace and love? Look at the symbol of ping pong. It can either represent a competitive game (defense!), or it can be a symbol of a conversation. Direct the conversation inward. Tell yourself how loved you are. How you are enough. Keep that conversation going.

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Horoscopes for April 17-23

image by the numinous

image by the numinous

Aries :: Aries Rising
Kayaking down a river. Coast downriver, but continue to steer the kayak. Remember that you’re supported by a greater current. You don’t have to do the work all on your own. But you do need to stay on course. And you’re responsible for keeping yourself on track. This means that you have to keep a clear mental direction. Choose your thoughts carefully. Each thought attracts the next thought. Try to summon up the image of coasting down the river. You’re supported. You’re in the flow. You are safe.

 

Taurus :: Taurus Rising
Eating flowers. In this image, you are nourishing your body and mind with delicate beauty. What is beautiful around you? To notice beauty, you must stay very present in the moment. Stay alive to the details. Look carefully. Quiet your mind so that you can be where you are. And make an effort to create beauty in your life. Create harmony, value and balance. You can do this in small ways or big ways. Make beauty- first in your heart, and then in the world.

 

Gemini :: Gemini Rising
Bats in flight. It’s time to use all of your senses. You are ready to have new information come in through unexpected channels. Turn up your ability to listen. Not just with your ears, but with your intuitive abilities as well. Ask to be given a sign, and then wait for it. Ask to know your innermost truth and then listen with your heart. Write yourself a letter with all of your questions. And then write the answers. Notice your dreams— there is special information there. Trust in a way that’s not purely logical. Open your mind.

 

Cancer :: Cancer Rising
Static electricity. Are you ready to be shocked? A little surprised? The surprising jolt of energy will help you see things in new ways. It will help you break out of your comfort zone. Examine your relationship with change. What feelings come up when you think about change? Maybe fear? Maybe excitement? Just notice and question it. If it’s fear, what do you believe about to be true about life that results in the feeling of fear? Is that belief something that you want to guide your future, or is it ready to be updated? Try to create a feeling of excitement within yourself. Imagine a very electrical future. What would that look like?

 

Leo :: Leo Rising
Bowling balls rolling down the alley. In this image you are the bowling ball. Moving fast. Making an impact. Make yourself a little larger than life now. Take up space, especially in your career. Get yourself ready to shine. Maybe even polish yourself up a bit. And let your work feel like a game. You need to let things be fun. Be bold, move in a straight course to your goal, make an impact and have fun. Simple.

 

Virgo :: Virgo Rising
Attempting a high ropes course. Are you ready for adventure? Taking new leaps and bounds. The important thing to remember with this symbol is that you’re totally safe, but you’ll be doing things that seem quite risky. You brain is wily, and not ready to completely trust that you are supported. So you have to keep reminding yourself and take the leap. Walk the tightrope, way up high in the treetops. Nothing can go wrong. You’re completely held. This is all supposed to be fun. So explore. Reach out of your comfort zone. Go. Now’s the time to stretch.

 

Libra :: Libra Rising
Pulling water up from a well. You are being invited to look deeper. Notice patterns this week. Look for the underlying motivation. Look for the deeper story that informs your feelings and actions. Don’ be afraid to look. You’ll keep pulling up the rope, and eventually you’ll be rewarded with clean fresh delicious water. You’ll find that the nourishment you needed was within you along.

 

Scorpio :: Scorpio Rising
Dancing figures, colorful robes twirling in the air. Let a feeling of celebratory exuberance well up within you. Turn up the stream of energy that is your sexuality. Let your creative sexuality become a communication. A dance between yourself and a partner. Or between your body and your mind. Feeling connected to your sexuality can become a source of integrated power. This sense of connection can center you.

 

Sagittarius or Sagittarius Rising
Handfuls of leaves and branches. Get grounded. Connect with the Earth’s energy. Make every effort to get the details of your life sorted out this week. The details would be things like organizing your finances, home space and work flows. Checking in with your health. Setting up appointments and taking care of those persistent tasks on your to-do list. Getting all of your systems in place. Begin by meditating on the feeling of being grounded and support by the Earth’s abundance. All is well.

 

Capricorn :: Capricorn Rising
Dealing a hand of cards. It may be time to take charge. But not in your typical way. Right now, you need to be the boss of fun. You need to manage your ability to have a good time and be creative. Put “enjoyment” high up on your priority list. Make time to express yourself. Make space for your friends. Let yourself play. This will do more for your advancement than hard work right now. Give yourself some freedom to enjoy.

 

Aquarius :: Aquarius Rising
Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s man…Look back through your childhood memories and see if there is something that applies to a pattern in the present moment. Remember your childhood home. Think about your family. And now think about yourself as a child. Give your inner child a little extra nurturance. Maybe he or she wants to be mothered. Can you be the best parent to yourself? Additionally, this is a great time to clean and nest at home. Feel cozy.

 

Pisces :: Pisces Rising
A folded fan. Fan yourself with inspiration. Let the fresh air rush in. You need a breath of fresh air. You are ready to learn new things. Remember that this is all self motivated. No one else can bring you the knowledge you need. You need to seek it out.You need to make an effort. Get active, with a zippy kind of energy. Socialize and find out what there is to learn in your community. Make new connections.

Now is the time for healing. (+ your FREE guide to using the energy of the planets through the week)

image by Ulla Thynell

(Hi pumpkin, here's your FREE Planetary Planner: Your Week of Healing. xo)

 

When I started therapy I was truly losing it. I remember thinking, “I just can’t move forward from here without talking to someone.” One quick internet search, a phone call, and 5 hours later, I was (gratefully) in my first therapy session. 

There was intense family stuff going down (*cough* saturn return *cough*). I had never processed one single iota of my childhood, or really, my entire life. But suddenly, it was time. I knew it was time because I could no longer move forward. Everything was triggering me. The feelings I had ignored throughout my life were rising up!

It was overwhelming.

So, I was sitting in that first therapy session, balling my eyes out and telling this therapist my entire life story. It felt really good to share and have someone listen objectively. But at the end of the session I shared my hesitancy, “I don’t really know if I should be in therapy because it’s not like anything really bad ever happened to me.” My therapist looked slightly surprised. 

Seven years of therapy later, I still have things to process. This life thing is like an onion, you know? But now, I have astrology and hypnosis clients who come to me with the same questions,

“Do I really have anything to process from my childhood? It wasn’t that bad for me. Anyway, other people have it worse.”

Why do we think we don’t have anything to process? We pretty much all have the same feelings. Happiness, sadness, fear, anger, shock, disappointment, excitement, etc. We may have very different experiences that cause these feelings to come up. But at the end of the day, our feelings are valid. They really are. 

Healing is not about comparison, deserving, or appropriateness. It's about learning to love yourself.

Why process your stuff… aka dig in… aka feel your feelings.

Look, maybe you don’t have anything to process from your past. But, quick question for you, do you have anything in your life that feels stuck now? Or could be better? Or is causing you pain? Well, if you answered yes, congratulations! There is something you could process from your past! As my friend and colleague Dana Balicki likes to say, “Everything new is old.” This means that underneath your current problem, there is some old, deep limiting belief. That belief is creating a pattern in your life. Digging in to find the root of the pattern helps. Allowing the feelings instead of ignoring them helps. Holding a vision for how you would like it to be different helps.

“I’m saving up money to start therapy. I know my relationships aren’t working the way I want them to, and maybe therapy would help…”

That’s what I was saying in the months before starting on my healing journey. It never felt like the right time to start. It seemed like having support could be helpful, but it definitely wasn’t a priority. I was just trying to hold together a life that was not making me happy at all. Pushing that rock up the mountain. Who has time for something like therapy or astrology or energy work when you are busy just holding it together? Amiright? It never occurred to me that by digging in a little deeper, I could learn better skills and create a life that brings me joy. And no one told me, this is for you! Do it! Receive help and support and love. I wasn't getting that memo. It just seemed more straightforward to keep hitting my head against the wall. 

So, it wasn't until situations had escalated that I went ahead and started processing my past. I waited until that sh*t was getting so impossible that I just couldn’t move forward any more. Could I have gone earlier? Probably. Do I regret not going early? I don’t like to waste energy on regrets, so I’m satisfied. But, I am saying this all to say- you get to have support. You get to have healing. It is your right. Processing your “stuff” may be uncomfortable or seem unnecessary, but it is the thing that will bring you peace. It will bring you clarity. It is your path to living the life you want to have.

***astrology break***

To give you a quick astrological perspective, the planet Saturn is in charge of helping you process the past and build a stronger foundation for the future. Saturn makes a hard angle in it’s orbit every seven years. So you get a chance to dig in every seven years and that energy is emphasized around the ages 29, 58, and 87 when Saturn completes his orbit. We can estimate and say that Saturn touches base with you at ages 7-8, 14-15, 21-22, 28-29, 36-37… you get the idea. (Btw, these numbers don’t add up exactly because, astronomy and stuff, so we need to look at your individual birthday to find the dates of your own personal Saturn cycle.)

(back to business)

Here’s my recommendation about when you should start digging in to process your past if you haven’t yet. Now. Just do it. Chances are, there are things in your life that you would like to be different. Go back to the past to find the root of the issue and heal it. I know it may seem scary, but in actuality, it is the easier path.

But, how?

I've created a list of 9 tenants of healing. The suggestions on this list will carry you through. They can be your guideposts. They can help you love yourself fully. And Self Love is the master key that fits in all the doors you want to open.

#1 Get support: Feeling supported is a huge help on the healing path. If you already have a support system in place- amazing! You are taking very good care of yourself! If you don't, see if you would feel comfortable opening up to receiving support. You deserve it!

#2 Be willing to change. Clear the way for change and growth to happen by affirming to yourself that you are "willing to change."

#3 Give yourself alone time alone to feel your feelings. Schedule it! Make time to just be. 

#4 Journal. Use some of that alone time to reflect through journaling.

#5 Take care of your body. Make sure you are drinking enough water, eating healthy nutrients, and staying active. 

#6 Take care of your inner child. This is where you get to use your imagination. Spend some time thinking about what your 5 year old self needs. What would your 8 year old self like to do? Nurture your inner child. Hug her. Take him to yoga class.

# 7 Meditate. This is the way to raise your vibration. Start small and work your way up. If you think meditation sounds boring, then you definitely need to start meditating.

#8 Notice what you "reach for."  Aka compulsions. We all have them. They are perfect flags. When you can notice one, it can help show you where there's something that needs to be healed. Use them as tools for healing by slowing down that moment of reaching for something and asking yourself, "Is this thing I'm reaching for meeting an actual need that I have? What is it?" And then- "What feeling needs to be felt right now? Am I lonely? Disappointed? Frustrated?" And then- "Why?" If there is a feeling buried underneath, just let yourself feel it fully. 

#9 Gratitude. Keep a gratitude list and add to it every day. 

And, to take it one step further, I've created a free guide to help you incorporate these healing tenants into your week.

My favorite part about this guide is that it is actually aligned with the planets. Get ready for some major shifts to happen when you link your personal healing with the natural energy of the week!

 

Download your FREE planetary planner: Your Week of Healing. >>

How to Prepare for Your Saturn Return (+ FREE 5 Things to Know About Your Saturn Return.)

How to Prepare for Your Saturn Return (+ FREE 5 Things to Know About Your Saturn Return.)

My client had a slight tremble in her voice, “I think I’m going through my Saturn Return.” 

She wasn’t sure and that’s partly why she scheduled the session. I checked her chart. Soon. Her first Saturn Return would start next year...

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